Aug 7 Tip: Learn Emotional Cool Down Techniques

August 7 Compassionate Living Tip from Interfaith Paths to Peace

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20120806/OPINION02/308060014/1016/OPINION/Reader-Letter-Cool-down-avoid-heat-moment?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|Opinion|s

Learn "Emotional Cool Down Techniques" for the Long Hot Summer

A friend of mine who deals first-hand with the violence in our city recently told me that deadly violence in Louisville frequently results from disagreements that spin out of control. Angry words in our homes and on our streets get hotter and hotter until the situation explodes and someone lies dead. But there is something we can do to stop anger from becoming deadly.

I am a volunteer mentor in a special program in Jefferson County Public Schools through the Society for the prevention of Agressiveness and Violence among Adolescents (SPAVA). This program teaches non-violent conflict resolution techniques to students of all ages. Mentors teach students that they can cope with their anger and stay out of trouble by learning to cool down. For any of us who find ourselves in angry situations that are rapidly escalating, I would like to offer some “emotional cool down” techniques which I have learned from SPAVA, techniques that we can use to short-circuit our anger when it is getting out of control.

Even though these techniques may sound overly simple, they actually work. In fact, their simplicity may be the key to why they are successful. So, when our anger starts to escalate, let’s try:

• Just walking away from the situation until our anger subsides

• Taking 3 deep breaths, consciously breathing out our pent up anger each time we exhale

• Talking to ourselves, saying “Wow, I need to calm down,” or “I need to slow down”

• Engaging in an athletic activity such as going for a walk or run, shooting some baskets, mowing the lawn, or going for a long bike ride

• Pouring out our feelings to a close friend with a sympathetic ear

• Lying down and taking a nap

Cool down techniques are a good first step in helping us avoid acting impulsively in the heat of the moment. A next step is to learn additional tools for conflict resolution. Some ideas for this may be found at the SPAVA website: www.spava.us. And of course, cool down techniques may not work in every situation, but they do offer hope that we can reduce the number of people in our community for whom we grieve when their lives are ended by a shooting or another form of deadly violence.

Executive Director, Interfaith Paths to Peace and Member, Male Voices Project of The Center for Women and Families –

Louisville 40202 –